Gaenor's chutney

 Source: https://pinotbretzelsandcathedrals.com/2020/05/31/not-mrs-balls/

Ingredients: 

1.5kg apricots (with stones removed

3 large onions

1tbsp ginger

1/2tsp dried chilli (can add fresh chilli if desired)

500g raisins

750ml vinegar (wine or malt)

750g sugar

1 tbsp salt

Finely chop the onions, quarter the apricots, put in a big pot with the rest of the ingredients.

Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer for an hour or two depending on the ripeness of the apricots. Stir occasionally to prevent sticking.

While the chutney is cooking, sterilise jars - wash thoroughly, then put in the oven at 100 degrees C for at least 20 minutes. Boil the lids and ladle and tongs to sterilise.

Once the chutney is cooked, carefully pour into the jars until almost full (leave about 0.5 cm space at the top of the jar) and close the jar with one of your sterilised lids. 

Once cool, tighten the lid. Can be stored in the basement for at least a year.

Vinegar šašlõkk

Original recipe in Estonian here 

1kg pork shoulder, cut up into roughly equal-sized chunks (4x4x1.5cm is the recommendation from the original recipe)

112 ml 8% vinegar (or 30 ml 30% vinegar - you should have 9ml of acetic acid, if I calculated correctly. You can do the conversions based on that volume, depending on the concentration of your vinegar)

4-5 large onions, cut into thin rings

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

2 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

1 tsp sugar

Add everything into the same bowl. Mix and massage the vinegar into the meat for around 15 minutes, then leave to marinade in fridge overnight. 

Thread meat and onions onto skewers, cook on the braai, and enjoy.

Royal potato salad a l'Ottolenghi

800 g new potatoes, washed 

150 g frozen peas

20 g parsley leaves

20 g basil leaves

60 g pine seeds

60 g parmesan

2 cloves garlic

200 ml olive oil

1 tsp white wine vinegar

handful of mint leaves

5 boiled eggs (or 15 quail's eggs)

salt and pepper

Wash the potatoes, boil for around 20 minutes until soft but firm. Boil the eggs until ready (I reckon about 4 minutes is enough), then refresh in cold water. Blanche the peas for 30 seconds in boiling water, then rinse and refresh in cold water.

While the potatoes are boiling, add the parsley, basil, pine seeds, garlic and parmesan to a food processor and blend. Add in olive oil bit by bit until you have a runny pesto. 

When the potatoes are cooked and have cooled enough to handle, cut them in half or quarters, then mix in with the pesto, mint leaves and vinegar. Season with plenty of salt and pepper.

Peel and quarter the eggs, mix in gently with the potatoes, and serve. Add extra mint or parsley as garnish if you want.

Soba, aubergine and mango salad

Just incredible. Courtesy of Yotam Ottolenghi's book, Plenty:

120 ml rice vinegar
40 g sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 fresh chilli, minced
1 tsp sesame oil
zest and juice of 1 lime, plus extra juice to taste
sunflower or rapeseed oil for cooking
2 medium aubergines
250 g soba noodles (made from buckwheat flour)
1 ripe mango (or 2, depending on how much mango you want)
handful each of coriander and basil, roughly chopped
1/2 red onion, sliced thinly

For the dressing, bring the vinegar, sugar and salt to the boil and cook for a minute. Take off the heat, add in the garlic, chilli and sesame oil, and leave to cool. Once cooled, add the lime juice and zest.

Dice the aubergine into 2cm pieces. Fry until golden brown. Once cooked, sprinkle salt over the aubergine and place in a colander to drain.

Cook the soba noodles for around 5-8 minutes depending on the pack instructions. Once cooked, drain in a colander, rinse with cold water, and leave to drip dry. Original instructions say to squeeze out the excess water - not sure if this is entirely necessary, but you do you.

Dice the mango into chunks similar in size to the aubergine. Roughly chop the herbs. Throw the noodles, aubergine, mango, herbs, onion and dressing into a big bowl, mix everything together, then leave to marinade for an hour or two. Serve with bread.

Can serve as a main meal or a side, depending on how hungry you are. Add whatever you want to the salad - tofu and mushrooms spring to mind.

South African monkey gland sauce

Don't mind the name—this stuff rocks. It's one of South Africa's unknown masterpieces, and it's quite sad, as we've got plenty of monkeys that could donate their glands for this... It's dead easy too, and a good way to use up errant bits of veg and monkey parts in your fridge. Smother meat in it, either as a sauce or as a marinade. Remember to pick out the pituitary gland before you eat—the texture goes to pot when you boil it.

1 onion
3-4 garlic cloves
Thumb-sized piece of ginger
1 pepper (optional)
3-4 tomatoes, diced
1 small tin double concentrated tomato purée
1 tbsp Worcester sauce
1/2 cup chutney
big dollop of red wine (optional)
AND/OR
dash of balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp mustard
150 ml vegetable (or chicken) stock
tabasco, to taste
1 tsp sugar
salt and pepper to season

Fry the onion, garlic, and ginger (and pepper, if you're using it) until the onion is translucent. Add the other ingredients, bring to the boil and cook on a high flame for about 8 minutes, then simmer for another 30–40 minutes. Taste and season if necessary.

Use for marinade and sauce. It should keep for about 2 weeks.

Bacon, cheese, and monkey gland burger

Baked eggs with tomato sauce and spinach

I've been using a lovely tomato sauce recipe I discovered recently for a bunch of different stuff. It is very nice. This time, I've used it for baked eggs. Although I made it in one casserole dish this morning, it works better if you have small single-portion pots that you can cook the eggs in.

Serves about 4

2 onions, thinly diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 red peppers, diced
1 chilli (or to taste), finely diced
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp Provencal spice
2 x 400 g tins diced tomatoes
200 g spinach, stalks removed and roughly chopped
Salt and pepper
6 eggs (in small pots) or 4 eggs (in a casserole dish)
crusty bread to serve

Heat the oven to 180 degrees. Fry the onions, garlic, peppers, and chilli until the onion is translucent. Add the wine vinegar, mix in, and then add the sugar, Provencal spice, and tomatoes. Simmer for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. While you wait, put the spinach in a colander and pour boiling water over it to wilt it. When it has cooled down, squeeze out excess water and, when the tomato sauce is done, add to the tomato sauce and then spoon into the pots or casserole dish. Make a small hole, or put a spoon in the tomato mix in a pot so that the is a bit of a depression in the sauce. Crack an egg on top of the spoon, then push down so that the egg sinks in to the mixture a bit, and then remove. Do this for all the eggs. Shove the pots in the oven, and cook for about 15-20 minutes. Be careful if you're cooking in a casserole dish, as you'll need to cook for longer. It might be a good idea to heat the oven to 140 or so and cook for about 20-25 minutes. In any event, it'll be nice.

Serve with bread, and enjoy. The tomato sauce rocks.

Aubergine/melanzana parmagiana

A vegetarian sort-of-lasagne Italian dish which worked out quite nicely. Very happy with the results. It did not take as long as I thought it would, either, so there's that, although it does take a bit of time. Make sure you have plenty of crusty bread, like a baguette or something similar, with you, so that you can mop up the sauce.

I adapted this from the Guardian's version of this recipe, with some changes. NB: I used quite a large baking tray which explains the quantities. I also layered the aubergine quite thinly, so if you increase the density of the aubergine, you can cut down on the tomato sauce. Still, tomato is nice, so it's up to you.

1.5 kg aubergine/brinjal/"egg"plant, cut lengthwise into 1 cm-thick slices
8 cloves garlic, minced
2 red onions, thinly diced
4 x 400 g tins tomatoes
1-2 glasses of red wine, or 4 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp oregano or Provencal spice
250 g grated parmesan cheese (or grana padano - meaning that the name is somewhat badly chosen. Oh well...)
250-500 g mozzarella (depending on your cheesy preferences)
50 g breadcrumbs
handful of basil leaves

Cut up the aubergine, salt it (I laid it in layers in a colander, sprinkled some salt over it, and then repeated until I'd done the whole batch), and leave for about half an hour. While you're waiting, fry the onions and garlic for a couple of minutes, add in the wine/wine vinegar, and then tip in the tomatoes and simmer for about 45 minutes, stirring frequently. Crush any big bits that might cause trouble later on.

Rinse the aubergines very well and then fry at least half, but preferably all, of the aubergine slices on a griddle pan for a couple of minutes on either side. I cooked half the slices and left the other half raw when assembling the dish, which seemed to work quite well, but I'd recommend cooking all the aubergine before assembling the dish.

When you've cooked everything, heat your oven to 180 degrees, and then start putting together the dish. Spread a thin layer of tomato sauce in your oven dish, then a layer of aubergine (packed tightly), then mozzarella, parmesan, and seasoning. Repeat in this order until you have used up all the aubergine. Top with a final layer of tomato sauce, then sprinkle breadcrumbs and a little bit of parmesan on the top.

Shove in the oven and cook for about 30 minutes or so, then take out when ready and leave for a couple of minutes before serving. Top with some of the basil, and serve bread on the side. 

Eggs Benedict (with hollandaise sauce [of course])

I recently discovered that recipes (lists of ingredients) are not protected by intellectual property laws. Nevertheless, I feel that someone else's work should be credited. So, this comes from Jamie Oliver's video on how to make several different kinds of eggs Benedict, with some reference to Gordon Ramsay's recipes. Still, it's pretty straightforward, despite the scary reputation. Go wild.

Ingredients:
Hollandaise sauce:
Should provide enough for 4-6 eggs, depending:
2-3 egg yolks
1 tbsp white wine vinegar
200-250 g butter
1 tsp tarragon

Poached eggs and toppings:
1-2 eggs per person (up to 6), cracked into little bowls or corning dishes or something. You can also add the remaining egg white from the hollandaise sauce to bulk up the eggs
2 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 baguette
Ham of sorts, preferably Black Forest or Kessler

Also:
Small pot (1 l or so
Large pot (3 l or so)
Thermos
Electric whisk

Melt the butter before you get started. Bring some water to simmer in a small pot and add the egg yolks, the tarragon and the 1 tbsp of vinegar to a heatproof bowl, then put the bowl on top of the pot (it needs to create a tight seal). If you have an electric whisk (big bell whisk needed), use this, otherwise you can use a handheld whisk - enjoy the workout. Also, pour boiling water into your thermos to heat it up.

Now comes the challenging part: turn the heat down. Beat the egg yolks while slowly adding the melted butter. It needs to be slow, as otherwise it will separate. Keep adding the butter until it's all in, while constantly beating the mixture. If the mixture separates, add a bit of water and beat it in. Keep beating the mixture over the simmering water for about 5 minutes or so until it has thickened. When ready, pour the hollandaise sauce into the thermos to keep it warm (thanks, Jamie!).

Toast the bread. Traditionally, it should be served on a toasting muffin, but a baguette worked wonderfully well. Don't over-toast it, though. While it's toasting, bring about 2 l of water to the boil in the larger pot, lower the heat to a simmer, and add about 2 tbsp of white wine vinegar. Stir the water and then drop in the eggs (alternatively, you can lower in the eggs in a ladle. This works if you want to poach more than one egg at a time). Cook for about 2 1/2 to 3 minutes and then remove from the water with a slotted spoon.

While the eggs are cooking, put a bit of the hollandaise sauce on the toasted baguette/muffin/bread, then put a slice of ham or whatever your topping of choice is on the bread. Put the cooked egg on top of the ham, then pour the sauce over the top. Enjoy.

Very tasty. It's breakfast, so you need some coffee too.